Good aikido class tonight, but making myself get in the door was like pulling teeth. I think I just have to acknowledge that I’m in a totally different place in my life now than I was 4 years ago, and the way that aikido and I fit together is going to be different. I know why aikido worked for me then, I just have to figure out what role it occupies now. 4 years ago I had a job that didn’t challenge me and I wasn’t in a relationship. Those two things mean that there weren’t nearly as many demands on my emotional energy as there are now, and aikido could occupy that “do something scary everyday” role. Now I have a lot of other things (good things, mind you, I’m not complaining) competing for my strength, my patience, my energy.