and another thing, what’s with me not being able to eat a greasy fast food meal if i want to? i remember a time when a cheeseburger, fries and a coke were a balanced meal. i can still metabolize the hell out of a milkshake, but suddenly i realize i’m eating all healthy all the time, noticing grams of trans fats and fiber on the back of the package before i buy it, trying to eat something green every single day, all that boring grownup stuff. and what’s the deal with my ankles aching in the mornings? and not being able to pull all-nighters anymore? i want my invincible 16-year-old body back.

I blame the job.