This update is actually a non-update. In order to start work on the house, we have to warm it up, because even the heartiest Chicago electrician can’t work in a house that is 10 degrees inside. So first we have to get the furnaces up and working. In order to do that we need the gas turned on. The day after we bought the house, Ben called the utility companies to request service. People’s Gas said that the gas was turned off at the main under the street so they’d need to come out and dig. They couldn’t schedule that until the following Thursday. So we twiddled our thumbs for a week. Shoveled snow because that’s the only thing we can really do at this point. Chipped all the ice off the sidewalks. Swept the front stairs and took down the for-sale sign. On Wednesday they called to say they didn’t get the city permit in time to dig. They rescheduled for the following Tuesday. I researched washer and dryer models; Ben dug out the garage door which was walled in by 3 feet of snow from the typical Alley Snow Wars. That Tuesday the high temperature was -2 degrees. Gas company called and rescheduled for Thursday, because no one can work outside in that cold. On Wednesday they called to say surprise, they had an available crew and could start right away. Ben headed over (thankfully there’s a cafe with wifi across the street where Ben can work while waiting on service appointments). They started digging up the street. Slow going because we haven’t seen a temperature above 32 in more than 6 weeks and the ground is frozen rock solid. Dug all day. They missed the main. Filled in the hole and said they’d come back the next day and try again. Came back Thursday. Ben is on a first-name basis with the cafe owner. They give him bottomless cups of coffee. His caffeine habit is going to be out of control by the time we finish this project. Dug up more street, found the gas main. Turned on whatever needs to be turn on. The crew went inside with Ben, turned on the meters, cranked up the furnaces. They both seem to work, yay! But the gas should be hooked up to the water heater but we don’t have a water heater which means that our contractor needs to cap off something or other before it’s safe to leave the furnace running. Then, on their way out the door, without Ben noticing, they apparently popped a lock on each meter. Our contractor’s furnace guy showed up the next day and called and said he couldn’t turn on the gas because the meter was locked. Thus began 24 hours of Ben calling People’s Gas and getting left on hold, disconnected, sent to voice mail. He was told the meters are locked because the main isn’t turned on. But it is turned on it, he said. I saw them test the furnaces. But the computer says right here that the main isn’t on. Clearly if it’s locked, it’s because it’s not turned on. Well, you’ll have to talk to the distribution department about that. But they’re not open until Monday. So here we sit, trapped in some sort of administrative hell, while the days tick away. Owned the house for 18 days now and we still haven’t done any actual work toward renovating it into an inhabitable (and rentable!) space.

Ben put it best: “I think of it like coaxing an elephant through city streets. we’ll get there, but not quickly. you just have to be persistent and reasonable…and occasionally you have to clean up an enormous, steaming pile of shite.”

We did make a horrible mess out of the street, tho. Sorry neighbors!