craig’s list chicago, wonderful bizarre beast that it is, produced this list of “et cetera” employment for me today:

Lawn Foreman Needed Immediately

Looking for Women with longer Toenails

30 Beer Promo Models needed for events in Chicago

Migraine and Eating Habits Study for Females 18-55 yrs old

I’LL BE THE BEST BABYSITTER!!!!

Need someone to teach me to rollerblade

Sell Someone Else’s Car for $200

Attractive Caucasian Male models wanted for foot fetish video

if a temp agency doesn’t call me back soon, i’m gonna have to start growing out my toenails.