Worst. Way. To Wake Up. Ever:

last night, 20 minutes after i fell asleep, my cat attacked my head. he gave no warning, was completely unprovoked, and it was no rough-play, it was vicious. it was a strike and retreat (he didn’t sink his teeth in and hang on or anything), but he left claw marks on my scalp and a pair of puncture wounds on my forehead. i have a pair of fang marks on my forehead. i look like a vampire has been nibbling on me. it’s gross. also, cat bites are notorious for getting infected, so despite washing the wound with soap and water and antibiotic anointment, in the morning i called the weekend answering service for my doctor’s office. the nurse on duty, upon hearing the words “cat bite” promptly paged the on-call doctor who recommended a course of antibiotics.

needless to say, the cat and i are not friends this morning. he was grouchy about being locked out of my bedroom for the remainder of the night, i was grouchy about the fact that i have a pair of fang marks on my forehead. also, the sheer adrenaline rush brought on by being attacked in my sleep (not to mention the betrayal of being attacked by a cat i’ve owned and (mostly) trusted for seven years) kept me awake for another hour and a half, leaving me a cool 4 hours of sleep before i had to go back to work.

will this be funny at some point? i kinda hope so. it’s not right now.

a handy list of the various reasons that cats are aggressive towards people.